Ah, the late twenties and thirties. A prime time for dodging invasive questions about your relationship status and fertility. You’re scrolling through your social media feed, minding your own business, when suddenly, bam! Another pregnancy announcement pops up, accompanied by maternal photoshoots and gender reveal fiestas. Meanwhile, you’re over here perfecting your solo brunch game and wondering if your houseplants count as dependents. Sure, it’s great that your friends and family are expanding their families, but does it have to feel like a race against time?
Just because everyone else seems to be swapping champagne bottles for baby bottles doesn’t mean your life is lacking. Whether you’re still plotting your next Tinder date, waiting to put a ring on it, hustling hard in your career, trying to conceive, or heck, just figuring out if you even want to be on diaper duty, it’s all on your terms, your timeline and no one else’s. Although it’s easy to fall into the shackles of comparison, remember that for some, it’s the joyous anticipation of impending parenthood, while for others, it might just be a lonely struggle.
The reality is, in the pursuit of comparison, we risk losing sight of the inherent value and worthiness of our own journey. We fail to recognize the beauty, complexity, and nuances of our unique circumstances. It’s alright to feel a twinge of jealousy when others announce their pregnancy while you’re still trying. Plus, taking a step back to acknowledge and understand the hidden battles others are fighting can help us dial down that urge to compare ourselves to everyone else.
Connecting with others who are going through similar struggles can help when dealing with infertility. Whether it’s talking in online groups, joining support networks, or going to therapy sessions; sharing experiences, fears, and hopes with others who understand can alleviate the burden of isolation and foster a sense of belonging. In the quest to control the urge to compare, granting yourself space to accept the invisible struggles of others can help us cultivate empathy and understanding. It helps us create a community where we support and care for each other while finding comfort and strength to keep moving forward.
And finally, the gentle surrender of acceptance, to what is, rather than what we wish it to be. Developing a mindset of gratitude, abundance, and acceptance can serve as a powerful antidote, rooted in the knowledge that our worth is not contingent upon comparison. Whether it’s the warmth of a loving partner, the support of friends and family, or the pursuit of passions and interests, shifting our focus from what we lack to what we have can cultivate a sense of contentment and peace.
Ultimately, to all those who find themselves on the precipice of parenthood or not, remember this: your timeline is yours alone. The journey towards it is as different as the individual who embarks upon it and the route to success is different for everyone. March to the beat of your own drum and prioritize what truly matters to you. So, the next time someone asks when you’re going to settle down and start popping out mini-humans, throw them a wink and tell them you’re too busy living your best life to worry about timelines.
