The path to parenthood isn’t always simple, and can become a long and complicated journey, full of emotional ups and downs. And for some, the challenge of infertility can be a silent struggle that risks eroding a couple’s deep-seated hope of building a family – not to mention shared finances. As you and your partner navigate this challenging ride filled with setbacks, waiting games, and endless hope, it’s crucial to carve out a loving corner within your relationship that can act as a safe harbour when things get rough.
Here are some key approaches to support your partner through the challenging path of fertility, infused with fresh resilience, solidarity, and perhaps even a touch of humour.
Communication
Amidst the whirlwind of appointments, treatments, and procedures, effective communication makes a relationship rock solid. Got disappointments? Who doesn’t? But when you’re chatting it through, keeping it real, those letdowns become a little less heavy. Allow active listening and judgment-free dialogue to flow. Realistic expectations and mutual coping with disappointments become manageable through honest dialogue. Partners embrace authenticity, trust, and unconditional love, showing up not just in triumph but also in moments of vulnerability. So, lean back, keep the conversations flowing, and keep it honest.
Reignite Physical Intimacy
It’s okay to take breaks from actively trying to conceive when needed. The good news is that this is a natural part of any long-term relationship, and with a little effort, you can reignite the passion and intimacy you once shared. Make time for romantic gestures, affectionate touch, and intimate moments that strengthen your bond and remind you of the love and support you share. Create designated zones in your home where intimacy thrives without the pressure of conception. Revisit the early days of your relationship, channeling the same excitement and spontaneity that once fueled your romance. Be kind and gentle to one another and always take it easy.
Strength in Solidarity (with boundaries)
Taking time off from fertility treatments can give couples a chance to rest, recharge, and focus on other aspects of their lives. So, when things get tough, don’t go at it alone; reach out, speak up, and let your support squad lift you up. Also, importantly, remember to encourage your partner to seek their sources of support. Host game nights, plan double dates, or embark on group adventures with a diverse crew who’ll bring the comfort, solace, and belly laughs you need to weather this storm. And if Aunt Martha starts asking about your ovaries at a family dinner, don’t be afraid to shut it down. Because, setting boundaries with nosy relatives is just good self-care.
Building Resilience
As we go through the unexpected twists and turns of infertility, it’s important to recognize that this path, though unchosen, is not without its lessons. Instead of viewing setbacks as failures, see them as opportunities for growth and learning. Reflect on what went wrong, what you can do differently next time, and how you can bounce back stronger. Stay flexible and open-minded, adjusting your plans and expectations as needed in response to new circumstances. Set realistic goals, break them down, and when you hit the mini milestones, pop the champagne or crack open a cold one, judgment free. Recognize the progress, own it, and let it fuel your confidence to tackle whatever comes next.
Enjoy the Process
They say that couples who laugh together, last together. So when adversity strikes, don’t let the woes weigh you down, but shake it off with a smile and a shared joke. Why not schedule regular date nights or activities that you both enjoy? Whether it’s a quiet dinner at home, a walk in the park, or a weekend getaway, spending meaningful time together can strengthen your bond. Find hobbies or interests that you both enjoy and make them a regular part of your life. Amidst uncertainty, shared laughter reminds you that happiness is still within reach.
Seek Professional Help
If you find yourselves at a standstill or your usual coping mechanisms fall short, be proactive in reaching out for support. Counseling offers a safe space to unpack these emotions, gain valuable insights, and learn effective communication strategies. Look for help from licensed therapists, relationship counselors, and marriage and family therapists on globally accessible online platforms like BetterHelp or ReGain. Utilize local community mental health centers, and nonprofit organizations in your area and be specific about your needs. Healthcare providers and insurance plans can offer referrals to in-network therapists. Additionally, seek guidance from reproductive medicine specialists, such as fertility clinics and OB/GYNs for support on the journey to parenthood.
